Episode 29: Let Me Tell You About Trollin' With Trollian

We've at last made it to Act 5 proper! Karkat immediately makes an ass out of himself talking to John, and then proceeds to make an even bigger ass out of himself trying to convince the other trolls to help him harass the kids. Meanwhile, Vriska's apparently got a few irons in the fire! What's her DEAL?

Alpha Episode 39: Let Me Tell You About Trickster Mode

Roxy has a family reunion that is cut short. Jane walks around her house but is only reminded of her sad life. Roxy escapes from a Derse prison due to a Void Ring. Jake has a pretty gay conversation with Caliborn. Dirk breaks down and AR almost just breaks. A new STRONG sprite is made. Jane has a lick of a sucker and we aren't feeling peachy.

Alpha Ep 38: Let Me Tell You About Birthdays

Jake is having relationship issues and that means that everyone has to hear about it, but especially Jane. Jane crosses a line that will be hard to walk back. Caliborn hits on Jane in the most backward manner and explains his artistic method. Roxy is kidnapped by GCAT and locked up in jail. DD visits a very important prisoner and gets fashion advice. Meanwhile in the past Roxy reads a story about characters stuck in a story who are desperately trying to change their destiny. A little firefly comes in the window and speaks in code and Ashley reveals some secrets to Molly.

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Alpha Episode 37: Let Me Tell You About Dead Sessions

Vriska and Meenah finally meet and end up throwing the party of their afterlife. It's a mess and also kind of the best. The Alpha go through their Sburb game for much longer then the beta kids ever did but much quicker from our perspective. Caliborn investigates his session and finds a computer, a collection of locks, a clown and the asshole who seems to be pulling all the strings. 

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Alpha Episode 36: Let Me Tell You about Maps

Vriska shows John and Tavros how tough it is to hunt for treasure in the Furthest Ring and how the giant reality destroying monster following you can be your biggest help. Meenah talks to the last of her pals and we learn about a secret relationship that can only cause problems. Dave works on his raps, Kanaya turns on the dark and Rose makes a move.

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Episode 28: Let Me Tell You About The Ultimate Reward

THE WAIT IS OVER. After an unplanned hiatus of an unFORGIVEABLE length, LMTYAHS Beta is back! Luke and Ashley explore the final leg of Hivebent, as Karkat discovers and then tortures himself with Trollian's memo system, Terezi schemes to exile Jack Noir, and Aradia rediscovers nihilism as the fate of the trolls reveals itself to be completely set in stone. They overcame a nearly impossible challenge, and were still denied their reward. It's so infuriating! Why if they discovered that 4 kids out in the multiverse were somehow responsible for what happened, they'd be SO mad.

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Alpha Ep 35: Let Me Tell You About Dancestors

Meenah meets up with her friends finally, and I can't lie to you they mostly all suck. Mituna and Kankri especially. Porrim is cool though, she's got all those tattoos and stuff. We make it through memories, meet a cult and just generally kinda fuck around. John and Jade watch Con Air and John has a upsetting revelation, Davesprite takes a joke to far and Bec Noir needs a rest but isn't getting one anytime soon.

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Alpha Episode 34: Let Me Tell You About Kissing

Calliope walks around her room as we take in as much as we can for what may be the final time.  Her brother tells us about the parts of Homestuck he loves the most: when people die (and sometimes kiss). Dirk becomes the coolest character in the world before doing something very creepy. Or is it AR doing it? Sorry, Lil Hal.  As the kids enter their four player session a one player session is set into motion. Meanwhile Meenah walks around, talking about the identity of Lord English, chatting about gillfronds and talking to Dave, who is the best.

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Alpha Episode 33: Let Me Tell You About Chess

Jake is dragged to a meeting that spans galaxies and time as the post-scratch and pre-scratch trolls meet. Dirk has more weird stuff going on with himself. We learn about the miles and how no one can escape them, even across sessions. UU and uu have a chess game where uu reveals another twist. Jane and Jake end up on Derse through various means and it all seems like a bad scene. Roxy has what may be a final conversation with uu and we finally learn her name.

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Alpha Episode 32: Let Me Tell You About Jailbreaks

Jack Noir is locked up in a Prospit jail cell and he's not going to rest until he's escaped, no matter how many people he's got to stab. Jake talks to Aranea and she reveals powers that put everyone on edge. DD plays everything cool and gets the mysterious "void ring." Mean uu asks Dirk to draw him some porn and Dirk is all for it, too bad there's just the shittiest twist ending.

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Earth-C Episode 3: Let Me Tell You About Rapping

Jules heads home to Australia but that can't stop the Homestuck train!

Rose's computer loses power and she resorts to escaping to the mausoleum. John loses his father's car and meets a long lost relative. Dave starts to show us a bit more about who he is. Jade investigates a meteor.

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Alpha Episode 31: Let Me Tell You About MystStuck

Molly and Ashley are together for one last "live" ep and it comprises of them wandering through Jade's land, talking to her friends and maybe uncovering some secrets about UU & uu. Mostly it involves a lot of tedious puzzle bullshit. Then Jake knocks himself out and we are treated to a history lesson from the future.

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