Episode 23: Mel's Special Lemonade

 Lemonade Mouth (2011)

Lemonade Mouth (2011)

Poets. Geniuses. Revolutionaries. The DCOMedy Crew has been called none of these things, but they are still here to talk about Lemonade Mouth for far longer than anyone should really desire to listen. Join us as we miss a bunch of crucial scenes and have to backpedal on them and get upset this film can't fulfill its subplots to save its life.

Luke drinks lemonade and tears up. Emma stans Bridgit Mendler and fans people with grape leaves. Ashley gets broken by some Disney Channel rapping.

Talking Points: Ashley vs. Ashley, New KP Characters, The Most Extra Intro, Poorly Cast Parents, No One Cares About Scott, A Waste of McDonald, Secret Dress Codes, Wen’s Mommy, Not Delivering on Subplots, Disney and Wheelchairs, Red Herring Lemonade Mouths, Wen Hates His Own Horse, Vegetarian Rage, Cellphone Variety, Creepy Wendell, Confusing Music Videos, Guitar Tricks, Old Cats, The Coldest Bars Imaginable,  The Lemonade is GROSS, Confusing Activism, More Non-Branded Costumes, Lemonade Solves Everything, Disney Channel’s Idea of Political Statements, A Random Cloud Watching Interlude, No Teenager Has a Radio, Forced Rock Bottom, The Lemonade Destination, What Is Your Plan?, No Satisfaction, Deus Ex Mel

Episode 22: Emma vs. Luke - Dawn of Zombies

 Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (2018)

This month, we are looking at the most recent DCOM yet: Zombies. Surprisingly, it has left us in a bit of a standoff. One host thinks its good, one thinks its bad, but they are both definitely really confused about how zombies work. Join us for some amazing choreography, hilarious side characters, and ridiculous wig work.

Emma misses that this is an allegory and doesn’t pay attention. Luke gets his speech patterns called out and wants you to know he runs our twitter.

Talking Points: Nobody Tell Disney Channel About Us, Kim Possible Casting, Horrible Zombie Logic, Zombie Uniforms, Confirmed Zombie Sex, Twilight Parody, Full Blue’s Clues, Wig on a Wig, Allegories with Mixed Messages, Bree and Bonzo: Incredibly Pointless, Time Once Again Has No Meaning, The Amazing Football Coach, Pointless Walls, Inconsistent Hatred, Zombies vs. Fire, Zombie Social Justice, ZOMBIE MASH, Performance Enhanced Zombies, Human World Problems, Necrodopolous?, Confusing Dream Sequences, Scooby-Bonzo, Non-specific Sabotage, The Power of Cheer, What Got Fixed? 

Episode 21: Love...And Illegal Fishing Practices

 A Ring of Endless Light (2001)

A Ring of Endless Light (2001)

We decided to take a trip down to a confusingly located island this April, by which I mean we watched A Ring of Endless Light. There is a lot to unpack in this one folks, so join us as we tackle a movie with some dark turns and really strange religious undertones. Although, at its core, it is a story about a girl caught between two potential loves while trying to stop the illegal fishing industry. Oh, also she can talk to dolphins but that's really more of a side thing.

Lucas did a lot of research and opens a new corner. Emma doesn’t pick up on a lot and is real bitter.

Points: Life Size 2, Thirteenth Year Leftovers, GRANDFATHER, Mr. Rochester and Ned, Shaky Hands = Dead, Merriman Glow-up, Mr. Supernatural, Age Issues, Serious DCOMs, Mischa Shows Some Skin, Random and Bad CGI,  Another Dead Parent, Casual Drowning, Poets Are Telepathic, Dolphin Hugger, Low-Risk Love Triangles, Lip Kissin', The Most Confusing Argument, An Equally Confusing Analogy, The Most Graphic Scene in a DCOM, Too Much Good D, Mr. Merriman Steal Yo Girl, Mischa Barton Learns What Hands Are, The Dolphins Have No Secrets, The Confusing Tragedy of Zachary Grey, Straight Up Leukemia, A Thrilling Dolphin Rescue, An Onscreen Death

Music: "The Promise (The Dolphin Song)" by Olivia Newton John

Episode 20: Everybody Loves Jordan

 Stuck in the Suburbs (2004)

Stuck in the Suburbs (2004)

This month, we've got Danielle Panabaker to the left and Brenda Song to the right so you know we are Stuck in the Suburbs with you. Might as well join us as we rock to the soundtrack, learn the power of friendship, and relive our youth in the early 2000s. 

Emma needs a location and feel a unique mix of tipsy, nostalgic, and emotional. Lucas has to translate Emma's nonsense and gets deep. 

Talking Points: News Tricklins, Fake Music Magazines, Cold Stone Steve Austin, Steve Holland: Savage, Cobie Smulders, Disney vs. Nick, Badly Aged Casting, Raisin Payoff, Brenda Song Masterclass, May I Call You Kip?, Drew Seeley Cameo, Stop the Creepy Little Brothers, Haircut Hijacking, Dog Identification, The House is A Metaphor, Brenda Soze, Queen vs. Queen, We Miss Lying, Violent Target Argument, Helmet Enforcement, Random Thugs, JUST GRAB THEM, A Confusing Ending

Music: "Make a Wish" and "More Than Me" by Jordan Cahill/Taran Killam; "Good Life" by Jesse McCartney

Episode 19: Hullabaloo About Loubalu

 Geek Charming (2011)

Geek Charming (2011)

It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl, dumps his lunch on her, and then asks her to be the star of a documentary. Come along as we jump over a big hurdle of awkwardness, try to make sense of this bonkers script, and endure more unexplained vlogging. 

Emma relives her popularity and has no follow through. Lucas needs a Geography lesson and flexes his film muscles.

Talking Points: Kim Possible Movie, Ironic Zombie Expectancy, More DCOM Drinking Games, Another Mean Girls Rip-off, THE RAMP, We Need To Talk About Asher, More Freakin Vlogs, A Perfect Storm of Tropes, 2005 Cell Phone Store, Dylan’s Supervillain Lair, Missing Marta, San Diego vs. Francisco, Fedoras All Around, Makeover Montage!, Burping Contests, Glasses Shaming, Amber Was Never Your Mom, This Ending Is Mean Girls

Music: "Hey, Princess" by Allstar Weekend

Episode 18: Wizard's Duel with Richard Nixon

 Now You See It... (2005)

Now You See It... (2005)

This month, we try to capture a little magic for the new year by reviewing the mystifying film Now You See It... Not mystifying because it's like magic, but because this film is an enigma not even the greatest film theorists could even begin to comprehend. You might as well try one of the many drinking games we suggest with the film and see if that makes anything that happens seem like it is a coherent narrative.

Lucas has amnesia about rankings and is here for high stakes. Emma didn’t learn anyone’s name and has some feelings for Aly Michaka.

Talking Points: A Zombie Turd, Reranking, The Puzzle Drinking Game, Return of the Fashion Corner, Are We In New Orleans?, The World’s Worst Reality Show Competition, Disney Censorship, Magicians are Safe-crackers?, Unquestioned Teleportation, An Nonsensical Mechanical Bull, Fortune Teller Stereotypes, The Plot Actually Starts to Happen, Knight Fight, Aly Is an Idiot, Mystic Max Rules, Hall of Mirror Escapes, Attempted Murder on Disney Channel, The Most Insane Thing, A Totally Unsatisfying Ending

Music: "Fashionista" by Jimmy James; "Do You Believe In Magic" by Aly & AJ

Episode 17: All I Want For Christmas is Blake Lynch

 The Ultimate Christmas Present (2000)

The Ultimate Christmas Present (2000)

We saved one extra present under the tree for you guys to unwrap the day after Christmas, and no you can't return it. Take a break from playing with all your new toys and come join us as we review The Ultimate Christmas Present, where Santa has infinite magic powers, is a major creep, but owns a lovely bungalow in LA.

Lucas confuses Brenda Song roles and famous Ricky’s. Emma hates the main character and the phrse naughty girls. Dyllan tells us all about Blake.

Talking Points: Everyone’s First Christmas, Busy Parents, No One Throws a Party on Christmas Day, Really Late Christmas Break, A Tale of Two Pickles, Blake Lynch: Sex God, Weather Machine Acceptance, Weather Chemistry, So Many Diplomas,  Creepy Santa, The Craziest Weather Software of All Time, Cactus Christmas, Grand Theft Snowmobile, A Sucky Afternoon with Edwin, Weather Pulitzer, EVERMERRY, A Nice Ending, DCOMrades 

Music: "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers; "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" sung by Fred Astaire

Episode 16: Hey, Smartphone

 Zapped (2014)

Zapped (2014)

This month we take our second foray into the modern era of DCOMs with 2014's Zapped. We quickly learn that this is almost in no way a remake of the gross sex comedy and is really about Zendaya being bad at mind control and somehow being both feminist and agressively gendered at the same time.

Lucas loves the villains and crushes hard on Zendaya. Emma hates the love interest and wants this power for herself.

Talking Points: Zombies Looks Awful, How to Pronounce Zendaya?, zAPPed, The Mom is Bad, Crazy Cliques, The Bratz Movie, The Love Interest Is Awful, SMARTPHONE, No School Runs Athletics This Way, Talking to Dogs, I’m Thinking Dance Off, She Tells Them The Truth?!, This Ending Sucks, Our Random Boyz n Motion Cover, Taglines Reloaded: Luke Does a Bad Job 2

Music: "Bamm!" by Milo Manheim, Meg Donnelly, and Kylee Russell; "Too Much" by Zendaya

Episode 15: Why Is He Made Of Frogs???

 Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge (2001)

Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge (2001)

It's that time of year again! The leaves fall, a strange chill hangs in the air, and the DCOMedy crew reviews another Halloweentown Movie. This year we tackle Kalabar's Revenge, which has some big improvements...and some huge giant glaring flaws that make it an exhausting watch to say the least.

Emma continues to hate time travel and still has a thing for magical boys. Lucas tries to solve a mystery and drops a controversial opinion about BTTF. 

Talking Points: Sister Sister Return?, DCOM Hocus Pocus,  Freaky Friday: A Perfect Film, Everyone Is So Much Older, WTF Is Ghoulchat?, Marnie Goes Too Open Too Fast, Why Is Only The Dad British, Wizard v. Warlock, This Film Completely Invalidates The First, What Is Your Plan 2: Kalabar’s Boogaloo, They Completely Ignore a Huge Clue, Luke Is Entirely Pointless to the Plot, Gort Sucks, Gwen Needs to Get Laid, Blastoff Through The Time Hole, USE MAGIC GWEN, This Ending is Worse Than the First One 

Music: "Grim Grinning Ghosts (A Capella)" by VoicePlay (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5TYZ8GqZbU)

Bonus Episode 2: Sing To Me Paolo

 The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

The Lizzie McGuire Movie (2003)

As an extra sweet October treat, we decided to put on our newsboy caps and go back to the 2000's with the surprisingly theatrically released Lizzie McGuire Movie. Come with us as we journey with Lizzie to Rome as she falls for an absolute creep, is hunted by a sadistic principal, and delivers the most iconic musical performance of a generation.

Lucas played himself proves he can do accent work. Emma is hit with intense flashbacks and is concerned about her Halloween plan. Ashley is sooo ready for this.

Talking points: Hilary’s Birthday, The Oscar-Worthy Soundtrack, Matt is a Horrible Human Being, The Parents Are Great, The Biggest Mistake of LaLaine’s Life, The Legend That is Ethan Craft, The UNGERMEYER, Unrealistic High School Wealth, Freakin Paolo, So Much Fashion, Everyone Wants to Get Some Action, The Redemption of Kate Sanders, Never Forget the Tearaway Skirt, Feminist Anthems, and Nobody Really Cares About Gordo x Lizzie

Music: "The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling)" by Atomic Kitten; "Volare" by Vitamin C; "We'll Figure It Out" (Theme Song to Lizzie McGuire); "Why Not" and "What Dreams Are Made Of" by Hilary Duff.

Editor's Note: We were using a new recording software for this episode and it had mixed results, apologies for the issues.

Episode 14: Time Finally Has Meaning

 The Poof Point (2001)

The Poof Point (2001)

As summer draws to a close, we hop into our Time's Arrow Machine to travel back to 2001 with The Poof Point. Join us as we regretfully sink our teeth into this less popular DCOM, and as we realize exactly why that is. We find some truly emotionally scarred human beings who are ruining the lives of their children who really do not take their parent's impending death seriously enough and force us to answer a gross would you rather.

Lucas throws shade at Tahj and feels bad about picking this movie. Emma got this confused with 17 Again and enjoys a good 2000's teen party.

Talking Points: A Sad Lack of News, The Lesser Mowry, Camera Explosions, The Set/Sound Designer Was On Drugs, Perpetual Cookies, The Dog Deserves An Emmy, Sir Bowser Wowser III, Secret Mean Girls, Goldfish Murder, Laptops: The Key to Time Travel, The Cycle of Neglect, Return of Body Horror, Giant Continuity Errors, The Parents Legit DIE, White Guy With Cornrows: The Hero This Movie Deserves, That Ruffles High, We Write a Better Movie

Music: "Parents Just Don't Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

Episode 13: The Cult of Protozoa

This month, we both look to the past and to the future as we celebrate our first anniversary and review the rightfully popular Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. Join us as we learn some future languages, explore the wonderful world of 2049 (which looks a lot like Earth in the 1990's with a few floating things and outfits leftover from Tomorrowland), and meet a man who is truly more an icon than a human.

Lucas messes up slang and had to record a segment in post. Emma recognizes a bad bitch and connects with a character on a spiritual level.

 Zenon: Girl of The 21st Century (1999)

Zenon: Girl of The 21st Century (1999)

Talking Points: Anniversary Head to Head, History with Z, Future Speak, Space Station Lilapsophobia, Smoking Weed In Space, There Are NO CAMERAS?, Getting Grounded, Aunt Judy, A Nice House-Ass, Independence Day, Loud Typing = Hacker, Horse Seduction, Mandatory Veganism, Multiple Hackers, A Realistic DCOM Kiss, Greg Destroys Margie, Protozoa: Your New Lord and Savior, and Some More Taglines

Episode 12: DB Stands For "Dark Backstory"

 Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off (2003)

Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off (2003)

This is what Summer is all about. Food, friends, a little healthy competition, and of course defying the gender norms we as a a society have created. Well maybe not always that last one, but here is Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off with all of these elements and more. Come along as we follow a young man's passion to cook with way too many montages and a character's traumatic backstory.

Lucas bungles an intro and wants to be in a food fight. Emma doesn't care about baseball and cries hysterically. Dyllan brings some expertise to the DCOMedy crew.

Talking Points: Raven’s Theme, Froot Loop Chicken, Phoned-In Villains, The Home Ec Teacher Rules, BRIDGET DOES NOTHING WRONG, Everybody Was Kung-Food Fighting, So Many Double Plays, Bully Cheerleaders, Flay Enters, The Ending Is The Best Part, Bobby Flay Does Nothing, Keep Those Taglines Coming, and The Exciting Anniversary Announcement

Music: "Centerfield" by John Fogerty

Episode 11: Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can Do

 Teen Beach Movie (2013)

Teen Beach Movie (2013)

The DCOMedy Crew is getting summer started off right with our first foray into the Modern Era of Disney Channel as we ride the waves straight into Teen Beach Movie. Join us as we are again without a guest, but still manage to jump into an homage to the 60's beach movies and cheesy musicals and end up finding a movie built on a series of strong choices, some genuine bops, and the stupidest villains we have seen thus far.

Emma calls out a writer and really wants you to watch The West Wing. Lucas wins a bet and doesn't find anyone interesting.

Talking Points: Fuller Raven's Home, Drake vs. Josh, Ducktalk!, Confusing Motivations,  The Surfboard Is Magic?, Safety First!, Is Rascal Okay?, Why Does Giggles Just Gyrate? Literal Adults With Horrible Accents, A Back To The Future Situation, Seriously Disney...An Angry Birds Joke?, Feminism in 1962, , Straight-up Sci-Fi, The Biggest Leap, Lighthouse-phobia, and A Bad Ending That Doesn't Matter

Music: "Surf Crazy", "Cruisin' For A Bruisin'", "Falling For Ya", "Like Me", and "Can't Stop Singin" by the Cast of Teen Beach Movie

Episode 10: Paradoxes Not Included

 Minutemen (2008)

Minutemen (2008)

This episode may be a tad long, but some guys in snowsuits showed up and said it was very important to the space-time continuum that this episode be longer than normal. On an unrelated note, this month we are looking at the surprisingly enjoyable classic that is Minutemen! Come along with our hosts and their first guest in a while, Emily (@ThisIsEmeralds) from War and Beast, on a genuinely good time travel superhero movie with incomprehensible science and where only one thing is constant: Derek is the WORST.

Emma does not understand time travel and does not care about the science. Lucas gets things wrong and falls in love. Emily dips her toes into DCOM's.

Talking Points: The Drought Is Over, Twitter Poll Results, A New DCOM, Charlie's Glow Up, Football Players Beat Up A Child and Commit a Crime, Modern Day Urkel, She Gave Him Meringue, Literally The Worst Vice Principal, Feline Time Travel, Disney Channel Tries to Say Slut, The Hook, The Snowsuit Guys, Magic Mops, Our Heroes Are Criminals, Get Out?, Casanova Zeke, No One Respects That The World Is Ending

Music: "Run It Back Again" by Corbin Bleu

Episode 9: Emma Wrote This Movie

 Get A Clue (2002)

Get A Clue (2002)

Much to the dismay of one of our hosts, our look back on Get a Clue is finally here! Come along on a film seemingly written by pulling ideas out of a hat, where children are allowed to participate in a possible murder investigation and have both ridiculous technology and even more ridiculous outfits that make it seem like a rejected crossover between Clueless and The Matrix.

Emma has a fashion overload and gets mad at her fake superhero boyfriend. Lucas reveals he has seen no movies and insults Queen LiLo.

Talking Points: Feminism Lite, Raven is Home, Spy Sister, Unrealistic Wealth, Obviously Named Characters, Journalistic Sexism, An Actually Good Dad, Our Heroes Commit Multiple Crimes, NAVY, Everything is On the Internet, Someone Uses a Pager, Why Is He Trusting A Child?, Awkward Dance Excuses, Infinite Money, The Red Herring Convention of 2002, Why Is He So Afraid of Children?, Who Called the Police?, You Had One Job!

Music: "Get A Clue" by Prozzak/Simon and Milo; "Fashionista" by Jimmy James

Episode 8: Stand By Your Merman

 The Thirteenth Year (1999)

The Thirteenth Year (1999)

Despite technical delays, the DCOMedy Crew is ready to swim right up and cover the wettest and wildest DCOM yet: The Thirteenth Year. Journey with us to a rustic sea village where swimming is the paragon of sportsmanship, the sound design is just insane, and not being able to swim is a crime equating treason. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a special announcement!

Lucas gets surprised by Disney Channel and coins a new phrase. Emma is done with Disney TV and gets grossed out by fish makeup.

Talking Points: Ducktalk, JonaSoul Cycle, Ridiculous Yet Somehow Real Names, Impossible Radar, Too Much Swimming, People Laugh at a Drowning Child, An Entirely Pointless Argument, Ridiculous Merman Powers, Hitch’s Law, The Spider-man Year, Kristen Stewart is in This?, The World’s Most Illogical Diagnosis, Criminal Mermaids, Fiji Needs to Sue Disney, Single Mermaid Mom: Wednesdays on NBC, and Disney Teaches A New Generation about Steroids

Music: (A Poor Quality Version of) "My Thirteenth Year" by Randy Crenshaw

Episode 7: Everybody Wants to Bone The Hologram

 Pixel Perfect (2004)

Pixel Perfect (2004)

Terribly sorry this one was so late everybody, but if we learned anything from the classic that is Pixel Perfect its that nobody's perfect! That is, except for a hologram made by a misogynistic and horny teenager which seems to  just make fun of people's weight and do upsetting dance moves for a children's movie. Join us as we rediscover a film we remembered well but found the experience of actually rewatching it to not be very enjoyable, so that's a good sign...

Lucas tries/fails to use Raviv’s proper name and misuses the word “congeal”. Emma rides the dragon that is NyQuil and makes Lucas insert a ton of clips in post.

Talking Points: The Most uncomfortable DCOM’s, The Dad Sucks, Who are the Band Members? The Moxley Spin Off, Crowd Scenes, A Hard Midnight, Straight Up Body Horror, Disney Channel Gets Deep, An Entirely Pointless Conversation about AI, Kinda Racism?, Literally the Craziest Ending, Ghost Holograms?, Emma’s Birthday Story

Music: "Get Real", "Nothing's Wrong With Me", and "Notice Me" by The Zetta Bytes; "Super Cali" by BoiOB/Orlando Brown; "Run The World (Girls) by Beyoncé

Bonus Episode 1: Real Steel Is Real Good

 Real Steel (2011)

Real Steel (2011)

Come along with Lucas and new friend Jules (@GatsbyLow) as she joins him in this extra-special, extra-long bonus episode as they take a look at the under-appreciated robot boxing movie that is Real Steel....and by take a look at I mean basically just them gushing about how much they love it. This episode also serves as an impassioned plea to Shawn Levy to make a sequel and begging him to give us a call to work on it. Just be warned dear listeners: There’s Lore Here. 

Lucas loses an argument before he can start it and body shames a robot. Jules opens her own corner and completely incriminates herself.

Talking Points: Old-Fashioned Animal Cruelty, Hot on Hugh, Plot Cliffs, Mad Max: The Steel Warrior, Adorable Frankenstein, Things Get Real Creepy, Parts Unknown, This Final Fight is Soooooo Good, Sexy Tron, JUMP PUNCH!, Hopes for the Sequel, Accept Hugh Into Your Heart, Robo-Lovers, and Real Steel Original Characters

Music: "Give It A Go" by Timbaland (feat. Veronica Gardner); Theme Song from "Cubix: Robots for Everyone" 

Episode 6: Stay in Your Lalaine

 You Wish! (2003)

You Wish! (2003)

Sorry this one is tad late folks, but if there were any movie to prove the idea that time has no meaning it would be You Wish! Join Emma and Lucas as they take a look at this It's A Wonderful Life ripoff that is really an advertisement for mental health awareness more than anything else. Wherein a boy may or may not kill his little brother but definitely finds out magic is real despite no one doing anything worthwhile with it.

Lucas relives being a younger brother and defends some Power Rangers. Emma shows how out of touch she is and reveals she is no longer afraid to die.

Talking Points: Mysterious Slime, Pet Turkeys, Bully Eating Disorders, Outdoor Lunchrooms, Pseudo Style Corner, BLING, Where’s On First?, Inexplicable Parkour, Disney Channel Teen Parties, Emma’s PSA, The Craziest Speech, They Paid for Vanessa Carlton?, Stranger Danger, Keeping Those Taglines Coming, Housekeeping

Music: "You Wish" by Lalaine; "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton