Episode 42: Let Me Tell You About Breeding Duties


WV contends with uneasy dreams about the duty that faces him. Tavros faces his destiny. Jade learns about her role in the completion of the game. Kanaya resolves to save her people. And Luke makes Ashley wretch with disgust.

Episode 41: Let Me Tell You About the Other Side

Jade finally gets cracking on becoming a Witch of Space, and makes a decision that she immediately regrets. Meanwhile, Ashley and I talk about how Karkat's whole... trolling schtick is a little weird to read about these days, and learn about the most important character in Homestuck.

Read More

Episode 40: Let Me Tell You About Light and Hope


It's starting to become clear just how Vriska's wounds came to be healed, but the details are more grisly then you might think. Meanwhile, Jade finally gets a white christmas, Aradia fulfills her explosive destiny, and Dave is hit hard and fast with the consequences of traveling to a foreign timeline.

Episode 39: Let Me Tell You About Time and Mind

John has reached God Tier. Will anyone else follow in his footsteps? With Terezi weaving complex philosophical and temporal riddles in his ear, Dave struggles with facing his own mortality, standing over himself with a weapon in hand. Yes, we seriously spent an hour talking about 10 whole pages. They were important ones dangit! 

Read More

Episode 38: Let Me Tell You About The Heir Of Breath

Having channeled The Breeze thing for the first time, John has reached the end of his echeladder, and the time has come for him to rise to God Tier. He embarks on a quest through LOWAS to find the Quest Bed, so he can take the nap that will make him the greatest hero in all of paradox space. Also, Luke and Ashley do some speculating on what a Homestuck movie would be like!

Read More

Episode 37: Let Me Tell You About Flirting

Alright listen LISTEN. sometimes these episodes have weird starting and finishing points. Sometimes there's not a great narrative thread to connect all the pages we cover over the course of an episode. And sometimes... *sigh.* Sometimes you have to listen to Tavros ineffectually hit on Jade for 20 straight minutes. But you all know what's coming next week right? It'll be great!

Read More

Episode 36: Let Me Tell You About LOFAF

Jade's finally made her way into the Medium, which means she's taking the first steps toward becoming a hero! Of course, the fact that she brought a prototyped Becquerel in with her means that even the weakest enemies in the game are now borderline invincible, but, y'know, I'm sure she'll figure something out! Meanwhile, Rose reveals a bit more of what seems like an increasingly misguided plan while Ashley takes a moment to discuss porn???

Read More

Episode 35: Let Me Tell You About Villains and Heroes

Faced with fatalistic certainty, Vriska decides to embrace the circumstances of everyone's doom. If the immortal demon must exist, then she'll be the one to create it. She unleashes unspeakable horror onto the world, every world. But she also begins to build the hero that might just one day destroy it, if he's lucky enough to beat her to the punch.

Also, me and Ashley talk about tattoos a bunch???

Read More

Episode 34: Let Me Tell You About Jade's Crisis


Jade wakes up for the first time since losing her dream self, filled with self-doubt, dread, and anger for the first time in her life. She's done her best to help her friends, but has she really succeeded? Rose seems to be succumbing to something dark and strange, the game seems completely unwinnable, and Karkat will never stop telling her that she's the reason everyone is doomed. What if he's right?

Episode 33: Let Me Tell You About the Old Gods


As Rose continues to tear the game apart, the shadowy figures orchestrating it begin to show themselves. What is the Green Sun? What are these voices Rose is hearing? What happens when a dead dreamer dreams? WHY IS THE GREEN SUN IN THE ICP MIRACLES MUSIC VIDEO.

Episode 32: Let Me Tell You About the Troll Meteor


Karkat chews out Dave and John for flirting with the Scourge Sisters, before flashing back to the seemingly endless troll drama that flooded his life when he first awoke on Prospit. Karkat recognizes the demon, Sollux and Feferi are getting more familiar, Vriska has a new celebrity crush, and Gamzee is now an innkeeper for some reason.

Episode 31: Let Me Tell You About Terezi and Dave

John continues to make preparations with Vriska, when he finally gets an opportunity to catch up with Dave, who's been abusing his newfound time  powers to manipulate the stock market. Also, Rose is spiraling toward an ominous future, and Terezi produces an embarrassment of Silver Spoons GIFs.

Episode 30: Let Me Tell You About Rose and Kanaya

After making it back to his house, John decides to start checking up on his friends, starting with Rose. Turns out, she's been busy since their last chat way back in Act 4! Mastering her eldritch majyyyyyks, tearing the game apart in search of clues, and most of all, getting to know a certain jade-blooded troll a whole lot better.

Episode 29: Let Me Tell You About Trollin' With Trollian

We've at last made it to Act 5 proper! Karkat immediately makes an ass out of himself talking to John, and then proceeds to make an even bigger ass out of himself trying to convince the other trolls to help him harass the kids. Meanwhile, Vriska's apparently got a few irons in the fire! What's her DEAL?

Episode 28: Let Me Tell You About The Ultimate Reward

THE WAIT IS OVER. After an unplanned hiatus of an unFORGIVEABLE length, LMTYAHS Beta is back! Luke and Ashley explore the final leg of Hivebent, as Karkat discovers and then tortures himself with Trollian's memo system, Terezi schemes to exile Jack Noir, and Aradia rediscovers nihilism as the fate of the trolls reveals itself to be completely set in stone. They overcame a nearly impossible challenge, and were still denied their reward. It's so infuriating! Why if they discovered that 4 kids out in the multiverse were somehow responsible for what happened, they'd be SO mad.

Read More

Episode 27: Let Me Tell You About Troll Romance


Read More

Episode 26: Let Me Tell You About Troll Neuroses

Troll culture is weird. And violent. And WEIRD. and it turns out that when you combine that with the emotional turbelence of adolescence, it creates PROBLEMS. Vriska can't decide if she wants to murder everyone or be loved by everyone. Equius is an aristocratic racist who just wants to be dommed SO BAD. Karkat is deeply ashamed and embarrassed by the color of his blood, and feels the need to keep it a closely-guarded secret. And it seems like everybody, EVERYBODY, is obssessed with romance. But that probably won't come up in a meaningful way. Also Ashley spends like ten minutes explaining the plot of the last Twilight movie to me??

Read More

Episode 25: Let Me Tell You About Vriska Serket

That's right, everyone! It's time at last for us introduce the best worst BEST character in all of Homestuck, the one and only Spidertroll. She makes a big splash in her first appearance, mind-controlling Tavros into throwing himself off a cliff and thereby kickstarting a horrible chain reaction of revenge that forever scars the bonds of friendship between our Alternian buddies. Aside from that though, who's this white-text douchebag?

Read More

Episode 24: Let Me Tell You About ~ATH

Luke and Ashley dive deeper into Hivebent, getting acquainted with a whole mess of new troll friends, and the plot Sollux and Aradia are weaving to save the world through SGRUB. Well, that's what Sollux is doing. Aradia has... ulterior motives.

Read More

Episode 23: Let Me Tell You About Hivebent

IT'S TIME. Luke and Ashley take the plunge into the fifth act of Homestuck, and spend some time getting themselves properly acquainted with the trolls. They learn about Karkat's love of bad romcoms and bad programming languages, Gamzee's prophetic religious beliefs, and Terezi's insatiable thirst for justice. Also, there's a password screen at some point? Eh that's probably nothing.

Read More